It’s been almost 2 months, 69 days, 1656 seconds, and counting since I’ve uttered a word to you, and today you were on the bus right across from me and I hadn’t noticed you until I sat down and realized who you were.
I couldn’t even look at you, the thought of you being there made me want to cry, all I did was listen to the song I played for you at that birthday party, every time I listened to it I thought about everything I ever did for you and whether or not any of it mattered at all, whether or not I even mattered to you at all .. And now I realize that I don’t because every time I let you close to me you completely crush me. You lie and say things will be different but they never fucking are and I’m done with you, because before we had anything as a relationship we were good friends and friends don’t hurt each other. I just can’t find the strength to forgive you, I’m not strong enough anymore, maybe before because I cared about you too much but now I’m broken I can no longer “forgive”. I just don’t understand what I did wrong.. I WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING for you. I would have done anything to help you, to see you smile, to make you happy, even if it hurt me, I guess that was not enough, I’m sorry I’m not adequate enough for you and I guess this is why I must let you go as friends as everything. Don’t think I hate you, I really never could and trust me I tried. I just got to let you go because I don’t want to be hurt anymore, so goodbye and I hope you find someone as magnificent as you, because any man lucky enough to spend a minute with you is the luckiest man in the world and I hope he gives you everything I couldn’t, you are still perfect to me and anything I ever wanted but all you do is crush me, anyways I got to go because I don’t want to take up to much of your time and I don’t like crying, you should listen to that song again, because word by word it explains how I feel about you,
Just bringing this back. Because Ashley is everything and also THE NOTES.